RECIPE FOR ONE HOPELESS BLACK CHILD
by Chef Danny Jean, International Gourmet

The cooking directions are as follows:
Start with 1 healthy beautiful black boy or girl, being raised by 1 parent under the age of 21. Before you start the delicacy you must make certain that the child has been marinated as the descendant of enslaved Africans still living on the same oppressive land. Place the child in a pot of rapidly boiling water. Add a large number of blacks in elected positions to make the community believe that racism no longer exists. Bring seasoned child to a boil. Cover and simmer child for a few years. Remove child from pot and place child on counter and begin to heat the oven.

Preheat Apt 4c to 350 degrees of hostility and poverty. Add a handful of rats and roaches. Outside the apartment decorate the neighborhood with inadequate healthcare and crooked police. Place the child in 1 school within a poor system. Make certain that the child is under the supervision of one racist teacher who only works in the district for the high salary. Add 30 minutes of unsupervised homework daily. Place the child in front of the tv and tune into a black television station that shows only music videos and comedy. Make sure the music videos are from black artist who were prepared the same way so the child, and the chef, can see the goal of the final dish. Make sure to give the child the remote control so they can access 1-5 ignorant show that portray blacks as over-sexed caricatures and/or crooks. Attach to the tv 3 video game systems with over 30 games to be used 7 days a week at the child’s leisure. Make sure not to add any books outside of school text in this living space to avoid spoiling the dish.

Turn child over. Combine within the apt, the child’s cell phone, two-way pager and 20 pairs of sneakers. Stir well. Don’t forget to add ½ cup of hip-hop culture to help the child from dying before the meal is complete. Surround the child with his 2 drug dealing cousins who are in and out of jail.

For best results, bake uncovered for five to fifteen years or until the child brain becomes tender. Sprinkle some crack at your discretion. Periodically stir in more hostility and poverty. Do not open the door of apt 4c until all these ingredients have had time to soak in and destroy the child’s self-esteem, confidence and dreams. Add Guns. (number of guns may vary, according to how many hopeless black children you want to create). Garnish the child with jewelry and expensive clothes and place him/her outside of his/her housing complex at 3:00am in the morning. This dish serves 3-5...years if lucky. The child is now ready to be served to any local hospital, jail, or coffin. Enjoy the child while you can. Although the dish took many years to cook and was prepared thoroughly, black children don’t last long when prepared this way. Bon Apetite!

Please look out for my new cookbook that will feature the following recipes:

Recipe for a Ghetto Riot

Recipe for Suicidal Suburban Blacks

Recipe for Dark Skin People Who Hate Their Complexion